Not prize but participation certificate :)
The Delivery
The Script
I
am nothing in front of her
Fellow Toastmasters and dear guests, good evening!
Meet my friend, a most eligible bachelor from a reputed
Indian IT firm, Venkat Kumar Anterdeshi. Today, we will witness his saga of
finding true love.
Venkat has switched many company in his quest for love,
joined all possible clubs and special activity groups. The result- he is still
searching. Even he joined Toastmasters, but Toastmasters’ CC and CL journeys
are not proving an iota of help in his journey of love.
The tiring journey of love has made him a poet. Let’s
have a look into some stanzas of his love sonnets, according to Mr. Anterdeshi:
I just say Yes No, Yes No
She never stammers,
I am full of CRPFs.
She eats sparingly
I eat excessively,
She do ‘make-ups’ for hours daily
I just keep a comb in my pocket.
Her attire catches every attention,
Her secrets are Victoria's and Myntra’s Kart,
My secrets are Pantaloon and DMart.
Her eyes are intoxicating
My eyes have spectacles,
I am dumb Doberman
She is a God’s Miracle.
Her hands are as soft as flower
My hands are as hard as hammer,
She is somewhat proud, friends
I have to crouch before every head.
Her face is as bright as full Moon
My face is as dull as distant star,
She has won every battle
I have to struggle for survival.
People laugh at my smile
Boys die at her smile,
For me, everything is costly,
For her, even heart is free.
What should I say more friends –
She is flower of Eden Garden
I am God’s mistake,
She is polished and natural
I am rough and artificial.
She is capricious and attractive
I am stone and distractive,
She is deer-eyed, always in mind
I am dark-circle-eyed, never in mind.
She is picturesque and precious
I am cartoon and worthless,
She is fair and modern
I am dull and old.
She is Deepika and Katrina
My life has no antenna,
She is Sania and Shiny
My world is very tiny
She say Saturday - Saturday
I cry Monday - Monday,
She enjoys on-duty holidays
I mourn on-call Sundays.
She is facebook and instagram
I am postcard and telegram,
She makes news and trends
I prepare minutes and bullets.
She is android and iPhones
Updated and evergreen,
I’m nokia and window phones
Outdated and no more.
She is BBC and CNN
Pleasant and break headlines,
I am Zee News and Times Now
Nasty and create nuisance.
She is boss's pet
I am his eye-sore,
I write codes
She finds bugs.
After exploring all possible options, one fine day Mr. Venkat Anterdeshi was sitting under old Banyan tree besides a sewage canal in his campus and typing furiously on his i-phone, purchased on EMI, as a gift for his would be Helen, suddenly a pigeon overhead performed his natural activity on his hand and his i-phone fell into the muddy canal. Socked, surprised Anterdeshi closed his eyes for mental solace. There he had his Buddha moment. His Eightfold evolved paths are as under:
I am God’s mistake,
She is polished and natural
I am rough and artificial.
She is capricious and attractive
I am stone and distractive,
She is deer-eyed, always in mind
I am dark-circle-eyed, never in mind.
She is picturesque and precious
I am cartoon and worthless,
She is fair and modern
I am dull and old.
She is Deepika and Katrina
My life has no antenna,
She is Sania and Shiny
My world is very tiny
She say Saturday - Saturday
I cry Monday - Monday,
She enjoys on-duty holidays
I mourn on-call Sundays.
She is facebook and instagram
I am postcard and telegram,
She makes news and trends
I prepare minutes and bullets.
She is android and iPhones
Updated and evergreen,
I’m nokia and window phones
Outdated and no more.
She is BBC and CNN
Pleasant and break headlines,
I am Zee News and Times Now
Nasty and create nuisance.
She is boss's pet
I am his eye-sore,
I write codes
She finds bugs.
After exploring all possible options, one fine day Mr. Venkat Anterdeshi was sitting under old Banyan tree besides a sewage canal in his campus and typing furiously on his i-phone, purchased on EMI, as a gift for his would be Helen, suddenly a pigeon overhead performed his natural activity on his hand and his i-phone fell into the muddy canal. Socked, surprised Anterdeshi closed his eyes for mental solace. There he had his Buddha moment. His Eightfold evolved paths are as under:
- Samyaka – Drishti: Have complete vision on all greenery around not one in particular
- Samyaka – Sankalpa: pursue equal aspiration for all beauties not one in particular
- Samyaka –Vaka: Don’t be able communicator only, but be a funny speaker, because girls like funny guys
- Samyaka – Karma: Focus your karma for appraisal and not for girls
- Samyaka – Ajivika: As you go for specialization for career stability. Here depending on particular a girl is riskier. Keep changing your preferences
- Samyaka – Vyama: Don’t do workouts for abs only. Slimmer has better chances
- Samyaka – Sammati: Don’t leave worldly desire and sadness but master the art of having casual desire and sadness. Because girls prefer mimicry artist
- Samyaka – Samadhi: Don’t do always Baba Ramadev’s Kapal-Bhati and Anulom-Vilom but also go hot and power Yoga
With this Gyan, let’s have a happy ending and close the story of Venkat Kumar Anterdeshi on a laughter note, let's laugh:
ha ha ha ! ha ha ha! ha ha ha!
Over to you Mr. Toastmaster!
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